Presentation by Gene Palsgrove at the Dennis Rupel Memorial Celebration

June 11, 2000, Modesto California Church of the Brethren

LaVon invited me to share memories of my friendship with Dennis around golfing and around our common church experience. The beginning of our friendship, more than 25 years ago, was a touch football game in the orchard by our house after lunch one Sunday. I remember that someone's elbow met LaVon's eye and she had the biggest shiner you can imagine.

Over the years, when I spied Dennis in church on Sunday morning, my day was a bit brighter. We seemed to gravitate to one another at coffee time and often joined our spouses well into the morning service.

Our exchanges often were on philosophical and theological topics and concerns. I picked his brain a lot to learn about his mental health profession and his psychiatric treatment. He was a good listener. I could share my innermost ideas and thoughts and my growing edges, knowing that his acceptance of me was unconditional. This trust and respect was mutual, and the basis for meaningful friendship.

Dennis taught Sunday School classes, especially on topics of mental health. I especially remember the very lucid presentation he made to a Wednesday night group explaining the nature of LaVon's illness. He had a teacher instinct about him - nonjudgmental, interactive, supportive. He was a presence among us.

He had a lifetime dedication to the Church of the Brethren, and in his profession worked many years with the Mennonites in their ambitious mental health clinics and programs. He was a much loved and respected psychiatrist who employed Christian principles not only in treating his patients, but in his everyday relationships with the human family.

We played golf together. I once explained to Dennis: There are four important aspects of golf: 1) Camaraderie, 2) Environment of the course, 3) Exercise, and 4) The game. If we get three out of four, the score is secondary. Most of the time it was secondary. After giving Dennis this bit of wisdom, I suggested that my fee would be $90. I think he said "bill me", ... I'm sure glad he didn't bill me for all the brain picking I did on him!

The last golf game we played was mid-January, a week before his brain tumor was diagnosed. Of the four aspects of golf: camaraderie, environment, exercise, and game, he got three out of four that day, as well as a very difficult par on the thirteenth hole.

LaVon, Kirsten, Wes, and Ingrid, I picture Dennis as operating with a wide net of camaraderies. He lived in an environment of love and appreciation and respect. He exercised his intellect and heart to ease pain and bring healing. He played the game of life with integrity.

Dennis, three out of four ain't bad. But I give you four for four in a game bigger than golf--the game of life. Thanks for being our friend.

-- Gene Palsgrove