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Presentation by Marvin Sherman at the Dennis Rupel Memorial CelebrationJune 11, 2000, Modesto California Church of the Brethren
At the top of my list is my wife, Lois. Then next is Dennis Rupel. And miracle! on that "Top Five" list is Lavon Widegren Rupel. How could I be so lucky! My friendship with Dennis spans more than 50 years. He is for me the brother I never had. Though his body now is ashes, Dennis is still alive in friendship. He REMAINS one of my five best friends. For, to paraphrase Paul's Letter to Corinth, FRIENDSHIP NEVER ENDS.
We spent hours sharing life stories, dissecting our parents, goofing around, studying, playing cards, trying to grow up. I guess now we call it male bonding... but not just through competitive sports, but through baring our souls to each other. And yes, we often irritated each other. Both of us had to learn to bend and adjust. Much like brothers do, I suppose. As the decades passed, we stayed connected. Both of us married. Ah, how wonderful that each of us met and married a woman who helped shape our immature behaviors. Then our WIVES also became best friends to each other. Later our two families--each with three children--often shared time together on holidays or vacations. Remember Lake Perrin? Or Camp Friedenswald? What joyful memories! In all this, the bonds of friendship have been a great source of strength and encouragement. Now, do not look for the publication of Dennis' private letters. He rarely writes personal letters. Nor does he send Hallmark cards.
Though Dennis is cautious about expressing sentiments, he is one whose presence is warmly felt, along with his cheerful banter, whimsical smile, and sudden laughter. He is sensitive to others. Very approachable by anyone. And he listens intently, with sincere caring. He can also be playful and quite sociable, when not totally absorbed in some book, speed-reading to grasp the essential meaning of the text--which was likely a book on history, philosophy, or religion. For Dennis is a student of the universe. A thinker. Analytical, astute, concise. It always amazed me in college when, as I struggled on my fourth draft of my term paper, he would stroll into our dorm room mid-evening, sit down with only a few notes, and compose as from memory the one final draft of an eloquent paper, then head to bed by eleven--leaving me with my typewriter pecking away on my draft five. Dennis, I treasure your refined mind, your integrity, your being there for me whenever I might call, your acceptance of all my foibles--with never a word of judgment. You are a true friend.
" When the ripe fruit falls, its sweetness distills and trickles away into the veins of the earth. " When fulfilled people die, the essential oil of their experience enters the veins of living space, and adds a glisten to the atom(s)-- to the body of immortal chaos. " For space is alive... glistening with oil of distilled experience." * Dennis, your distilled experience is with us still... in God's space and eternal spirit. Thanks for being forever...my friend. (*) from The Complete Poems of D.H.Lawrence, c.1964,1971, Viking Penguin. SENT WITH LOVE THIS FATHER'S DAY TIME (June 18th, 2000) TO THE FAMILY OF DENNIS RUPEL. --Marvin |
Let's think about friendship.
Who are your five best friends?. . .
Now, the second question: How many
of those friends are still living?
It is said that we do not MAKE friends,
we DISCOVER them. At Manchester College in
Indiana, Dennis and I discovered friendship,
perhaps in part because we share similar
backgrounds, both of us were somewhat
introverted -- and both of us were shy
with girls.
Therefore I cherish a long farewell he wrote
on the end pages of my college yearbook on
the day we graduated. It's a thoughtful
analysis of each of us, our relationships
as roommates, and commentary on what the
future might hold. He was already a
practicing psychiatrist -- without a license!
What more can I say to honor such a
best friend and "best man" at our wedding--
a man with such concentration of character!
I turn for help to the writings of
D.H.Lawrence...
