AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE

A celebration of Dennis' life, by Roger Yates

I have known Dennis for over 20 years.  Our lives have intersected in many areas over these years, professionally, relationally and spiritually.

When I came to work for San Joaquin County Health Care Services in 1978, Dennis was the Medical Director and I a neophyte wannabe counselor.  Bets were being taken that I would not last over 30 days in the Alcoholism Program since I was coming from a position with a Baptist Church.  Dennis immediately welcomed me and over the years shared with me his background and really put me at ease integrating a personal faith in a profession.  It seemed like over the next 20 years, wherever my career path would lead....there was Dennis....supportive, encouraging, unassuming, attentive and unconditionally loving.

In the early 80's, I was invited to be on the counseling staff at the University of the Pacific and ...there was Dennis.  Only this path led my being able to establish a relationship with LaVon as well.  For me a deeper bond developed as I watched and witnessed, first hand, two competent professionals modeling for me a relationship of trust, faith and love being lived out in work setting.  It was there that Dennis confided in me his intent in leaving County Mental Health.  I naively asked "Oh, is God calling you to the mission field?'  He smiled and chuckled like he would do when that little shy side would surface, and replied, "maybe so, Roger, maybe so".  Little did I know that Dennis was always on a mission sowing health and wholeness wherever he was.

In the mid 80's, I decided to devote more time to developing a private practice and guess what... there was Dennis... My office next to his... my mentor, my colleague, and my friend.  We would talk about many subjects: family, psychology, theology, golf, optimism and skepticism, health and illness as well as current events.  Passing each other in the hallway... two minute consultations next to the coffee pot... referrals to each other... frustrations... schedules... church and so much more.  Dennis was always loving.  In fact another therapist summed it up well saying "whenever I talked to a person about seeing a psychiatrist,  I had no hesitation in knowing that if I referred to Dr. Rupel they would be in capable and loving hands".

I could go on and tell you about our golf games, usually after Dennis' Friday morning discussions of faith with his study group... and how I  benefited from discussing our personal faith journeys... I could tell you of the depth of knowledge Dennis shared with me about healing...physically, mentally, and spiritually.... I could tell you that Dennis spoke with me about how he would love to just sit and listen non-defensively to any event that might have angered or upset Wesley, Kirsten or Ingrid during those growing years.  I could tell you of the two retirement celebrations first for LaVon and then for Dennis and how meaningful they were to me.  In fact it was as if Dennis was able to hear his own eulogy at his last dinner.  It was so hard to "roast" a person who was so kind to all.  And then I could tell you of the day LaVon called to ask me if I would assist in getting Dennis dressed for his MRI and she also asked if I had noticed any difference in Dennis'  behavior over the past few months.  I replied that I had only noticed Dennis wearing his sun glasses even in the office.  When I asked Dennis about his glasses he said he thought he lost them on the golf course.  I didn't even think of the seriousness of the signs we all hoped were minor.  As I reflected back to when Dennis was riding in my truck on the way to his MRI, the sun breaking through the trees in the early morning as we passed Oak Park, I couldn't help but think that the slow drive was like a funeral procession.  Then came the diagnosis, operation, radiation treatment and deterioration to death.  And now I am asked to share as representing the professional community.  For me it was as if Dennis lived out and modeled for me "the more excellent way" referred to in I Corinthians !2:27-13:13 which reads

"Now you are the body of Christ and each one of you is a part of it.   And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second   prophets, third teachers, then the working of miracles, also those having the gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with  the administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.  Are all apostles?  Are all prophets?  Are all teachers?  Do all work miracles?  Do all have gifts of healing?  Do all speak with tongues?  Do all interpret?  But eagerly desire the greater gifts. AND NOW I WILL SHOW YOU THE MORE EXCELLENT WAY.  If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes , always preservers.  Love never  fails.  But where there are prophecies, they will cease;  where there are tongues, they will be stilled;  where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.  Now we see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am Known.  And now these three remain; faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." (NIV, International Bible Society, 1984)

To the "healers" of our community, Dennis modeled that knowledge and expertise is important... but the greatest gift is LOVE; it's a gift that keeps on giving... And there is LOVE... and there was Dennis.

  -- Roger Yates